The world has lost an angel...

My grandmother passed away today at 5:30pm. Details of the funeral have not been finalized, but I'll be heading down to South Florida either tuesday or wednesday night. Grandma, you're in a better place now. I love you and am glad you are no longer in pain, but this world won't be the same with you gone.

Hannah Osroff
Rest In Peace Grandma

Highway robbery...

Can we say highway robbery kids? That's what the SEC refs got away with on saturday night in Knoxville. For the second time in 9 months (last being the FSU game), the Gators were stripped of a win due to an absolute shit ref call. There is nothing more frustrating than watching your team lose because of a referee's involvement. I have no problem accepting my team losing if they play poorly, but when your team plays well enough to win and would have won had it not been for a totally arbitrary call in Tennessee's favor, I just can't swallow that. Yes, I know the Gators missed a short field goal earlier in the game. That's fine...the fact is, up until that bullshit penalty with 55 seconds left, every action was a result of player performance. Had the Gators lost based on their performance, I'd be able to deal with it. But the 15 yards they lost as a result of that penalty gave Tennessee the opportunity to make the field goal to win the game. The refs threw the game, plain and simple. Yes, I'm bitter. Gator Nation has a right to be.

Thank you to everyone who has shown concern about my grandmother. It's been a hard few days. I haven't heard anymore news, so as far as I know, everything is status quo. I'll be having my weekly phone convo with my dad tonight, so he may have more info to give me, but either he or my mother was supposed to call me if any pressing news occurred, so I'm assuming everything is fine. My dad told me late last week they were moving her from the hospital to hospice care. She still was not eating at that time and still trying to remove her IVs, although she doesn't have the energy to do it. The doctor said she would not be able to live much past 10 days if she did not start eating. If that holds true, I may be getting that call by the end of this week.

I went out on friday and bought a black tie. I ironed my white shirt and black pants and have them hanging separately in my closet. On and off the last few days, I've been working on a eulogy to read at her funeral. At every point the last few days where I haven't had anything specific in my mind, various memories of my childhood with my grandmother creep into my head. I look at my phone constantly to make sure I didn't miss a call. The wait is horrible. Not that I want it to happen; it's just the inevitability of the wait is driving me nuts. I guess I just need to accept it, put it in the back of my mind, and just deal with it when it happens. Easier said than done though.

I got something I haven't received in a while...thanks Krystal

Much love to my faithful commenters...Stephanie, Laura, Krystal, Caleb, Bobbi, Chris and well as my LJ lookers, Mike, Milla, Max and Kari. Ciao until the next update.

A time for reflection...

I got a call from my dad tonight. My grandmother isn't doing well. She is 94, my last living grandparent, and she has lived in an assisted care facility for the last 6 years after she got shingles. She has slowly been losing her mind over the last few years...barely recognizes people...calls people the same names...and now she has decided not to eat (3 days now) and keeps trying to pull out her IVs. I'd say that means the end is coming soon. It seems she wants to go.

My grandmother, Hannah, has been a huge part of my life. She is the only grandparent I had after age 12, as all the others had passed on early in my life. I have very few memories of the first years of my life, but all that I do remember revolves around the summers I spent with my grandmother. I lived in New York until I was 10, and my grandmother lived in Deerfield Beach, Florida, so we'd make trips down to spend a few weeks with her every summer. I can still picture her condo in my mind. Looking off the second floor balcony across the street to the pool. Picking snails off of the building after a thunderstorm and keeping them in a tupperware. Playing cards. Riding the trolleys around Century Village. Eating her tic-tac's that she left on the table near the window. The very colorful paintings and needleworks on her wall that entrance me to this day. Her patio, and the big tree that always blocked my view of the house across the back fence. Grilled cheese sandwiches. Ginger ale. Shag carpet. Black and white wedding pictures. Pics of my mom as a girl. Youth. Innocence.

I know all I do is talk about how old I feel, but I'm sure many of you can relate to me...when you lose a loved one who had a huge effect on your life, especially as a young brings back a lot of memories of how innocent life was back then. It also sobers you to the fact that regardless of the number of years you've been alive, when people close to you pass on to the next world, you realize you've grown up and that part of life now is watching those you live die around you. No matter how blunt or sad that sounds, its the truth. That truth is something I accepted when I nearly lost my dad a few months ago. I'm so thankful that he is still here and will be for a long time, but at the same time, you have to face the fact that one day, it's going to happen. It's just very sobering. I lost three grandparents, but all when I was young. It's been a long time since I've had to deal with a death this close to me, and it appears I'm going to have to deal with it very soon.

It's going to be a time of a lot of reflection the next few days. Oh yeah, and I have school work too. What a damn inconvenience school can be.

Crash into me...

I crashed tonight. I just hadn't been getting good sleep the last few nights, and after a long rainy football game earlier today, I came home and just didn't have the energy to go out. Thursday night I only got 3 hours of no sleep (and no fun or productive reason for the lack of it), and then last night I just got home late from being out and then had to get up early to get good parking on campus for the game. I went with Mike and we had really good seats...4th row in the north end zone, got an upclose look at a few of the many TD's scored in the Gators' 49-10 domination of Eastern Michigan. With exception for one early drive and one in the second quarter, the Gators' defense looked pretty solid, and Chris Leak woke up after a few drives and lit up the scoreboard. Let's hope this one game was enough preparation to pull off a win in Tennessee next weekend.

People are really hard to figure out sometimes. Just when I think I've got the important people in my life understood, I have a week like the last where I'm totally fooled. I've had a few different instances that just leave me dumbfounded. Someone who shows a lot of interest in me, but then hides from those feelings. Someone who has a strike of luck in life, and is all of the sudden better than everyone else. Someone who preaches commitment to a cause, and then flakes off for no reason. Maybe I should have studied psychology. I think the only thing you learn about people as a political science major is that everyone is only out for their own good, and while I'd like to hope that isn't true about people in general, the older I get and the more people I meet, it seems to ring true. Maybe its a fallacy that there are true friends and truly unselfish people in the world, but if it isn't a fallacy, I guess I just have a hard time finding those people.

I feel myself closing up. I go through these phases. Sometimes I'm all about expanding my network and making tons of new friends, meeting tons of new people and going out more. Other times, I kind of tighten the circle and become more of a hermit. I think I'm approaching the hermit phase, partly because of what I discussed above, and partly because I sense I need to get everything under reigns if I plan on doing well this semester. Not that I haven't been doing well yet, but after three weeks full of interruption from earthly forces, there really hasn't been much to except for reading and going to class. That's about to change.

I think it's also a drama/stress factor. Drama is definitely not what I want right now, and life has generally been stressful enough of late. Nothing like three hurricanes in a month threatening to turn your life upside-down to get you on edge. I don't want drama from people either. I don't have patience for it. I think it's really funny how I end up in the middle of it too. Somehow I seemed to get grouped into situations that I don't get asked to be involved in. Of all of the people I know and hang out with, I am the last one who will ever try to hookup with an 18 year old girl, regardless of how hot, nice or even mature she may be. I can barely find a 21 year old girl around town who can keep me intellectually stimulated for more than 15 minutes, so I've given up on any women in Gainesville that are under the legal limit. So guys, you have nothing to fear from the old man in town. I'll stick to the MILF's and grad students.

So, dare I say it this far ahead, I think we may be out of the woods with Hurricane Ivan. It's really too early to tell, but it appears the track is taking it further west and may not directly hit the peninsula of Florida. *knocks on wood* It would be nice to have one complete week of classes without the threat of closure.

That was quite a long rant. Guess thats what happens at 4:30am. I'll be on the radio tonight from 5-8pm ET if anyone wants to tune in. *knocks on mic* testing? 1? 2?

Much love to my commenters, Neeta, Stephanie, Jeff, Angela, Angel, Carrie, Krystal, Laura, Jessica and Spiff. Also much love to my LJ commenters, Kirsty, Jessica, Goldi, Milla, Kari and Meagan.


1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush."
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush"?
6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button.
7. Repeat, as required.

Thanks to Laura for that :)

Quick Hurricane Update

I lost power last night around 9:30pm and just got it back this morning. I was quite surprised to get it back so quickly, since the weather is still progressively getting worse up here. Frances is now just a Tropical Storm, but Gainesville is on the east side of the storm (usually the worst) as it moves through the Gulf of Mexico and makes a second landfall on the panhandle of Florida. Winds were pretty bad all night and the rain is piling up. Classes have been cancelled for tomorrow again, since the storm likely won't really be out of our area until early tomorrow and then the cleanup will begin. Outside my window, I don't see any damage or trees down, but lots of branches everywhere and the field behind my apartment is flooded. The power is still flickering low now and then, so we may lose it again, but I'm thankful it hasn't been worse. We're still not out of the woods though. Tornado warnings are going up all around our area as the rough rain bands are swirling around us. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Frances is a fucking tease...

Classes were cancelled today. The state of Florida has pretty much shut down. I sat home and did nothing pretty much. Did some reading for class, watched TV, relaxed. This storm is teasing the fuck out of us. Yes, it has weakened some, but it also slowed down, so its creeping closer and closer...9 miles per hour...and a storm moving that slow presents the problem of flooding. They are predicting from 10 to 15 inches of rain up here in Gainesville, possibly more. We probably won't feel the effects of the storm though until tomorrow night. So Saturday will probably be a pretty normal day, but Sunday and Monday probably won't be much fun. I have plenty of reading to do to pass the time. I'm wondering if they might cancel classes on Tuesday too, since they figured the storm would have passed by then, but it doesn't look like it will and even if it does, the city may be so flooded that no one can get anywhere. I guess we'll see what happens. Good luck to everyone who is in the path of the storm. I'll try to call everyone and let them know I'm still alive once the storm has passed.

On to better financial aid came in yesterday, so I'm set as far as money for the next few months. It came at a perfect time, right before the storm, so I don't have to deal with trying to scrape for cash after the storm passes. I also got renters insurance on my apartment just in time. I had a feeling after Hurricane Charley that I'd probably need it, and my dad got me in touch with his insurance agent just in time to get the paperwork done and the coverage active. We finished the details last week and the paperwork arrived in the mail on wednesday for me to sign and send back. I'm not really anticipating any major damage up here, but it still is good to have it.

This is an example of absolute propoganda and lies.
This is an example of absolute ignorance.
This is an example of absolute tragedy.

This is probably my last post before the storm. I'll do my best to get on here and let you all know I'm alive when the power comes back on (I'm assuming we'll lose it at some point).

Much love to my commenters...Angel, Stephanie, Jessica and Beth, as well my LJ commenters...Peppermintcat, Max, Meryl and Kirsty.

Damn hurricanes...

Looks like we aren't going to escape this one. Hurricane Frances is making a beeline for South Florida. This one looks exactly like Andrew in 1992 and is taking the same path, only this one is expected to hit the southeast coast and then ride up through the peninsula, meaning it will hit South Florida and Gainesville. For those of you who have never had to deal with a storm like this, they are no laughing matter. If it seems imminent that its going to hit us and I'm not going to be online for a few days, I'll try to update once more before all hell breaks loose.

Assuming something saves us from this storm, I'll be going to the first Gators game this saturday. I got tickets with Mike, Chris and Jeannie and we got lucky and got 5th row near the 15 yard line on the north side of the field. Quite good seats if I may say so. Although it seems like there may not even be a game if the storm makes landfall when they predict it will. Grrr.

Anyway, onto better news. My internship project is finally complete and has gone live on the net. Go check out SwingFlorida's website. Three months of work finally done and I'm quite happy with how it came out. Now I just hope it plays a big part in the campaign over the next two months.

My dad and I had talked about traveling next summer after I graduate, and while we really want to go abroad, it doesn't seem like the finances will allow that. So a few weeks ago, we discussed going to Washington DC. I've been there twice in my life, and my dad has been there many times over his life for conventions and research, but I told him I wanted to take a trip somewhere that relates to my career plans, so Washington was a great idea. I told him I wanted to be able to spend a lot of time up there to really get to know the city. Last night, my dad made reservations for a beautiful hotel with a great view for 17 days in May shortly after I graduate. I'm still in shock. It's going to be an incredible trip and I'm already excited about it.

Much love to my commenters, Chris, Stephanie, Kristina, Beth and well as my LJ commenters, Meryl, Shymyr</b> and Max. I'm gonna go do some reading, and maybe pray some that Hurricane Frances goes somewhere else.

My description of hell...

So now that I've been to all 6 of my classes twice (and decided I'm not going to drop any of them), here is a summary of the work I have this semester:

AMH 4130 - American Revolutionary Era
5 books
2 exams
1 12 page research paper

AMH 4310 - U.S. Social & Intellectual History 1945-1975
3 books and 1 course pack
2 exams
15 quizzes
15 reaction papers

EUH 4664 - Modern European Revolutions 1789-1917
7 books
2 exams
1 10 page research paper

INR 4204 - Comparative Foreign Policy
5 books
2 exams
1 15 page research paper

INR 3502 - International Institutions
3 books
5 quizzes
1 20 page research paper

INR 3034 - Politics of the World Economy
3 books
2 exams
1 10 page research paper

The worst part is that all five research papers are due within a two-week period at the end of November. My schedule at the moment is lighter, aside from all of the reading, so I'm going to try to get some of the research done early. It's gonna be a hell of a ride, but I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm also still heavily involved in the ACT campaign. The website I've been building for them should be done within the week, so once its officially released to the public, I'll provide a link on here for all to view.

Since a few of you inquired, I got all of my Kerry-Edwards gear at I got the dogtag, a t-shirt and a sign to put in my living room window. Didn't cost me that much and I figured if I'm going to make a contribution to Kerry's campaign, I might as well get something out of it that allows me to campaign in my own way. I wore the shirt and dogtag on campus on wednesday and got a lot of comments from people who liked it. So if you support Kerry, go to his website and get in on the grassroots level :).

Just nine more days until the Gators first home game. Not that its even going to be a game. The first two games of their schedule are always gimme games...they basically invite a smaller school from a smaller conference to come down to Gainesville and get slaughtered. The smaller schools get paid for it, so I guess its worth it to them. Although its never happened here, other big schools have invited small schools for those kind of games and have pulled upsets in the past. For some reason though I seriously doubt Middle Tennessee State and Eastern Michigan have any chance.

Anyway I have more reading to do and a reaction paper to write. Much love to my website commenters, Stephanie, Andres, Laura, Angel, Bobbi and well as my LJ commenters, Ashley, Jessica, Kirsty, Max, PeppermintCat, Meryl and Kari. Ciao!

Everything happens for a reason...

I left for school today and walked to my car, only to find it wouldn't start. Turns out my dumb ass forgot to turn my lights off the day before after I drove home in a rainstorm. So, I ran to the front of my complex to catch the 75 bus, not knowing when it would come, when it would connect with the 5, and when the 5 would get me to campus.

Lucky for me, I got to campus with 10 minutes to spare, and the ride wasn't that bad. I was still a little upset about the whole car thing though. It was hot out, I was wearing jeans and the general stress of the event got my body heat rising, so I felt all uncomfortable through both classes today, plus an hour or so break in between when I couldn't really find anywhere to go, so for the most part, was stuck outside in the blazing sun.

A few good things happened. When I got off of the bus, I ran into my friend Michelle and we chatted for a few. In between classes I met up with Maria from ACT, and we talked for a few about our schedules and campaign strategies. I then got out of my second class and went to fetch the bus home. I sit down and within a block, there's another stop. I watch as this beautiful blonde, blue-eyed girl with light freckles, wearing a tight white t-shirt and jean skirt, walks onto the bus with a blazing smile. Not feeling too well, I looked at her and then turned to the window, thinking nothing of her arrival, until I happen to turn again to her and see her approaching me. She asked to sit next to me. She asked. That never happens. It's always a coincidence. And then I always have to start the conversation, but no, she actually starts it, commenting on how she barely caught the bus, and in her words "great timing." This led into a conversation that lasted all the way to 36th St., where her stop was. Her name is Becca, she's a senior, Biology and Spanish major, and went to high school in Coral Springs. We talked about various things...typical icebreaker conversation...including my episode with my car earlier in the day and the reason I was on the bus. The thing I noticed the most about her was how engaging she was in conversation. Everytime I looked at her, her eyes were looking directly at me. Nothing took her eyes off of me. I almost felt bad if I took my eyes off of her, which I did periodically (its just the way I talk, I always talk like I'm talking to a group). It was just very intense. It wasn't even flirting, it was just very intense conversation. Very enjoyable. Then I noticed her stop was coming. She said she was sure that she'd see me again, and I said I wasn't sure since I doubted I'd be on the bus again, so I asked her if we could exchange numbers, and we did. Aside from the fact that she was amazingly beautiful, she was seriously a sweet person, and if anything, she brought a huge smile to my face and made me feel really good on a day that just wasn't going well. I plan to give her a call in a day or two and ask her for coffee.

I'm not implying this is a fateful meeting of someone I'm star-crossed with. I may never even see her again. But regardless, something good came out of something bad, and just the experience of meeting her made everything that preceded it worth it. In the end, I came home, got my car jumped and everything is fine. Hopefully I'll get to see her again. If not, she still made my day.